Work can become mundane, stressful, and boring. You can add pep to your day with funny work quotes. They’re relatable and hilarious.
Work is a part of life. There are good and bad times.
Sometimes the workday seems to take forever. You’re counting down the hours until you get to go home.
One of the best ways to cheer up and make time go by faster is with humor.
The following are funny work quotes to get you through the day.
Some are sarcastic, while others make fun of colleagues.
Regardless, they’ll give you a great laugh. Be sure not to read them in a meeting unless you’re willing to share them.
Related: Funny Birthday Wishes for Coworkers
Hilarious work quotes to make the daily grind bearable
1. “No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.” -Groucho Marx
2. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” -John Gotti
3. “Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we’d be here every freakin’ day.” -Ed Bernard
4. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” -Charles Lamb
5. “Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired.” -Michel Tournier
6. “As I have gotten older and wiser, I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement.” -Tom Goins
7. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.” -Zig Ziglar
8. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” -Douglas Adams
9. “Don’t you just hate it when you arrive at work and realize you’ve forgotten to bring your will to live?” -Unknown
10. “You can sit idle for days in your office but the moment you ask for a half day leave you become the strategically most important employee.” -Unknown
11. “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” -Phyllis Diller
12. “When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.” -Henry J. Kaiser
13. “Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished? Yes, work never begun.” -Christina Rossetti
14. “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'” -Don Marquis
15. “The world is divided into people who do things – and people who get the credit.” -Dwight Morrow
16. “Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody’s watching.” -Satchel Paige
17. “I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process.” -Vincent van Gogh
18. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” -Robert Frost
19. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” -Bill Gates
20. “People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.” -Ogden Nash
21. “The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.” -Sarah Brown
22. “The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.” -Casey Stengel
23. “It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.” -Adlai Stevenson
24. “You do not lead by hitting people over the head – that’s assault, not leadership.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower
25. “I don’t wanna work. I just wanna bang on this mug all day.” -Michael Scott (The Office)
26. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” -Isaac Asimov
27. “Everything I have I owe to this job. This stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.” -Jim Halpert (The Office)
28. “When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.” -Dave Barry
29. “Most of what we call management consists of making it difficult for people to get their work done.” -Peter Drucker
30. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” -Leslie Nielsen
31. “People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.” -Thomas Sowell
32. “I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working.” -Michael Scott (The Office)
33. “The question, ‘Who ought to be boss?’ is like asking, ‘Who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?’ Obviously, the man who can sing tenor.” -Henry Ford
34. “Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.” -Lewis Grizzard
35. “I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers.” -Unknown
36. “Sometimes I have my headphones in at work with nothing playing so I don’t have to interact with chatty co-workers.” -Unknown
37. “Sometimes I feel like everyone I work with is an idiot. And by sometimes I mean all times. All the time. Every of the time!” -Kevin Malone (The Office)
38. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you” -Billy Wilder
39. “First rule of leadership: everything is your fault.” -A Bug’s Life
40. “I work hard all day. I like knowing that there’s going to be a break. Most days I just sit and wait for the break.” -Kevin Malone (The Office)
41. “There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.” -Unknown
42. “I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to come home from work tomorrow.” -Unknown
43. “Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ And if they would, I do not do that thing.” -Dwight Schrute (The Office)
44. “It takes less time to do a thing right, than it does to explain why you did it wrong.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
45. “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” -Oscar Wilde
46. “Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.” -Huey Long
47. “His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours.” -Arthur Baer
48. “It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.” -William Faulkner
49. “I’m working myself to death.” -Alan Ladd
50. “My husband changed jobs so fast that I simply never knew what business he was in.” -Rose Kennedy
51. “People don’t like to be sold, but they love to buy.” -Jeffrey Gitomer
52. “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” -Robert Frost
53. “It’s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it’s a depression when you lose yours.” -Harry S. Truman
54. “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” -Albert Einstein
55. “Life is too short to work so hard.” -Vivian Leigh
56. “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” -Lewis Carroll
57. “The less you talk, the more you’re listened to.” -Pauline Phillips
58. “I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I’m probably at work.” -Unknown
59. “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” -Napoleon Bonaparte
60. “If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.'” -Dave Barry
61. “He isn’t a real boss until he has trained subordinates to shoulder most of his responsibilities.” -William Feather
62. “Meetings are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.” -John Kenneth Galbraith
63. “Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment.” -Robert Benchley
64. “Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.” -Unknown
65. “Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.” -Sam Ewing
66. “I work to stay alive.” -Bette Davis
67. “The reason a lot of people do not recognize opportunity is because it usually goes around wearing overalls looking like hard work.” -Thomas A. Edison
68. “No one on his deathbed ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office.'” -Paul Tsongas
69. “It can be liberating to get fired because you realize the world doesn’t end. There’s other ways to make money, better jobs.” -Ron Livingston
70. “My sales objective is to get my prospects to look at my products the same way I look at bacon.” -Kurt Mortensen
71. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” -Joe Girard
72. “Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.” -Ray Kroc
73. “Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.” -Al Capp
74. “Nothing is work unless you’d rather be doing something else.” -George Halas
75. “The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.” -Unknown
76. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” -Drew Carey
77. “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” -Ronald Reagan
78. “An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” -Niels Bohr
79. “We all have this colleague who, we hope, quits his job so everyone in the office is happy. If you don’t know any such person, quit your job.” -Unknown
80. “If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.” -Noel Coward
81. “Playing hide and seek in my office building because they can’t fire you if they can’t find you.” -Unknown
82. “Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done.” -Sam Ewing
83. “Find a job you like and you add five days to every week.” -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
84. “You can’t just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they’ll want something new.” -Steve Jobs
85. “Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.” -Bill Murray
86. “The reward for good work is more work.” -Jonas Salk
87. “The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” -Dennis Miller
88. “I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.” -Henny Youngman
89. “It’s a funny feeling to work with people who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.” -Alan Alda
90. “Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still?” -J. Paul Getty
91. “It’s just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.” -Muhammad Ali
92. “It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” -Dwight D. Eisenhower
93. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” -Homer Simpson
94. “I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” -Clarence Darrow
95. “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.” -Scott Adams
96. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” -George Carlin
97. “A baseball game is twice as much fun if you’re seeing it on the company’s time.” -William Feather
98. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” -Jerome K. Jerome
99. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” -Oscar Wilde
100. “If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.” -George Carlin
101. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” -Claude McDonald
102. “The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.” -Stanley J. Randall
103. “Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” -Andy Stanley
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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.
