Want to send a Valentine’s Day message to your partner, friend or kids that's guaranteed to make them giggle? Read on to discover some of the funniest Valentine’s Day quotes and poems for your enjoyment …
Want to send a Valentine’s Day message to your partner, friend or kids that’s guaranteed to make them giggle? Read on to discover some of the funniest Valentine’s Day quotes and poems for your enjoyment.
Also check out:
- 35 of the best Valentine’s quotes and poems
- 40 of the funniest Valentine’s Day memes
- 20 Valentine’s Day activities for families
Valentine’s Day is nearly upon us, and if you’re planning on giving a card to someone this year, you’ll likely be wondering what kind of message you should write in it.
A poem always goes down a treat, and you’ll find plenty of inspo here for funny messages to write in your card. They’re sure to get a giggle from the receiver.
1. Funky Valentine
1/20
You’re my funky Valentine.
You always make me feel so fine.
My favourite love, my best, my friend,
And that is why I want to send,
A poem to thrill you to your socks,
A poem that sings, a poem that rocks.
A poem to spin you on your head,
(unless you’d like a kiss instead!)
And if that’s not enough for you -
I’ll up the score - and give you two!
(Or three or four or eight or nine)
for you, my funky Valentine.
2. I wish your pyjamas were next to my nightie
2/20
I love you, I love you, I love you, so mighty.
I wish your pyjamas were next to my nightie.
Don't be mistaken don't be misled,
I mean on the washing line and not in bed.
3. You're everything I love in life
3/20
You're the syrup on my pancakes,
You're the sugar in my tea.
You're the icing on my cupcakes,
You're the sweets in life for me.
You're the chocolate on my ice cream,
You're the sweet grapes in my wine.
You're everything I love in life,
Will you be my Valentine?
4. Stuck on you
4/20
You're sucrose, you're glucose,
You're fructose and more,
From your head to your feet...
Which are stuck to the floor.
You're Hershey's, you're Snickers,
You're sweet English Toffee.
If you spit in my cup,
You'll just sweeten my coffee.
I love you so much
That I'm getting frenetic,
But I can't even kiss you,
'cause I'm diabetic.
(By Kenneth J. Miller)
5. Silly Valentine
5/20
It’s Valentine’s day,
And it’s really quite silly;
My feelings are switching around
Willy-nilly.
I’m happy, SO happy!
Then I’m feeling SO sad;
I’m gloomy, I’m joyful
Oh man, this is bad!
My body is clammy,
Then I’m in a deep sweat;
Sometimes I’m giddy,
Sometimes I fret.
I’m looking for comfort food
Deep in the fridge;
Often I think
I could jump off a bridge.
What is the reason
For all the above?
It’s Valentine’s Day,
And I’m SO in love!
(By Joanna Fuchs)
6. My bigfoot Valentine
6/20
You've got big feet,
But gee, you're sweet,
So let's give it a whirl,
Say you'll be my girl.
'Cause I'm a goofy guy,
But I caught your eye,
So say you'll be mine,
My bigfoot valentine.
(By Kelly Roper)
7. If I were...
7/20
If I were a key, I would lock you;
If lightning, then I would shock you;
If I were a pier I would dock you;
If I had a band I would rock you.
If I were a spoon, I would feed you;
If I were a house, I would deed you;
On Valentine’s Day, I must plead you,
Valentine, I really need you!
8. Roses are red...
8/20
Roses are red,
Love writing ain't easy,
That's why this poem,
Has turned out so cheesy.
9. If you love me
9/20
If you love me,
(say it’s true),
I’ll need a box of
Sweets from you.
Some chocolate chunks,
Some luscious bites,
Two boxes, please,
If that’s all right,
Some long-stemmed roses,
Stored on ice,
Delivered fresh
Would be so nice.
And while we’re at it,
Oh, so grand,
Would be a lovely
Diamond band.
What’s that you say?
You have to work?
(I swear each man
is such a jerk!)
(By Denise Rodgers)
10. Marriage guidance
10/20
As you embark on life's journey,
If you want to stay on track,
Make sure you can work a sat nav
And your wife can read a map.
(By Patrick Winstanley)
11. Dog Valentine
11/20
I made my dog a Valentine,
She sniffed it very hard,
Then chewed it for a little while,
And left it in the yard!
(By Jack Prelutsky)
12. Roses are red...
12/20
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I've got a pollen allergy,
Atchoo, atchoo!
13. On the sofa next to you
13/20
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I want to fall asleep
On the sofa next to you.
Seas can be stormy
Times can be tough
I love you even though
You leave the seat up.
I want to make you happy
I'd grant all your wishes
But it's still your turn
To do the dishes.
(By Gdfn52wdr, Netmums user)
14. You cute young thing
14/20
Well hi there you cute young thing
You look so fair and bright
You always make my fond heart sing
And fill me with delight
But alas when daylight comes
You are too helpless to mention
You’re bald and bandy with toothless gums
And collecting your old age pension.
(By Lynda G(79), Netmums user)
15. Apples are green
15/20
Roses are red
Apples are green
Give us a kiss
Don't be mean!
(By Katrina O(34), Netmums user)
16. Won't you?
16/20
Barbara's eyes are blue as azure,
But she is in love with Freddy.
Karen's sweet, but Harry has her.
Gentle Jane is going steady.
Carol hates me. So does May.
Abigail will not be mine.
Nancy lives too far away...
Won't you be my Valentine?
17. Candy love
17/20
Fly away with me, my dove
To a forbidden place where the skittles meet the rainbow.
Lay under the Milky Way with me,
And lets gaze at the star burst together,
Just you and me, sweet bliss.
When the moon begins to eclipse, we'll be in each other's arms.
I never knew how much of a sweet tart you could be.
There are zero people like you.
You're my lifesaver in this unforgiving world.
I love all your little snickers,
And I feel safe when you wrap your butterfingers around me.
I want to share all of your kisses,
Now and later, always and forever
You're all the payday I'll ever need.
I wouldn't trade you for 100 grand
All because I love my sweet gummy bear.
18. Friend or foe
18/20
There's someone I know
Who I really can't stand
I wish he would bury his
Head in the sand or
Move to the moon or
Deeper out of space.
Whenever I see him
I make a weird face.
Today during recess,
Outside the yard,
He suddenly gave me
A valentine card.
I wish that he hadn't.
It made me upset.
It was the prettiest one
I could possible get.
19. My faithful Valentine
19/20
You're a little unkempt,
And you snore like a log.
When I give you your dinner,
You gobble it like a hog.
You're hard to keep up with
When we go for a jog,
But you're the one I love
More than Paris or Prague.
So my Valentine is you,
My dear faithful dog!
20. Facebook Valentine
20/20
Facebook says I’m single
But that’s not really true.
My heart belongs to someone,
And that someone is you.
We’d make a great couple,
Jealous folk would hate us,
So please give me a reason
To update my status.
https://verses-world.com/funnyvalentinepoems/
Valentine poems for your wife or husband
Valentine’s Day is the perfect time of year to show a bit of love to everyone in our lives.
A poem is a thoughtful way to show your feelings, whether you’re sending a card to your child, your hubby/wife, a friend, or boyfriend or girlfriend. But they can sometimes be a bit on the sappy side, which is why we’ve put together these funny alternatives!
When you’re writing out one of our poems, why not add your loved one’s name into them to make it ultra personal?
Some of our funny Valentine’s poems are lovey dovey and sweet, while we also have more lighthearted poems featuring rhymes about animals and tasty treats like chocolate and cupcakes.
Violets are red, roses are blue poems and short, funny Valentine’s Day poems
Can’t resist a rhyme? Opt for a classic ‘roses are red, violets are blue’ style poem – they’re easily remembered and recited too!
You’ll find both short and sweet, and longer-length poems on our list, depending on the vibe you’re going for.
Cute Valentine’s poems in card form
Why not get the arts and crafts set out and let the children make their own cards for their Valentine’s Day poetry to feature in? Or, they could print a cute picture to work alongside their poem. It’s a fun activity for all the family and will keep them busy for a little while!
And if you’re still short on inspiration and looking for more lovely poems, have a look at our favourite Valentine’s Day poems and quotes here.
Valentine’s rhymes personalized
Looking for a Valentine’s Day gift that feels personal? This lovely white picture frame has the wording ‘Love You to the Moon & Back’ – all you have to do is pop a picture of your loved one inside for the perfect gift. See more details here at Amazon.
1. What is the first known Valentine poem?
The first known Valentine poem was written in the 15th century by Charles, Duke of Orleans. While he was captured during the Battle of Agincourt, he penned a poem to his wife, which is recognized as one of the earliest known Valentine’s Day messages. Despite his situation, he took the time to express his feelings from the heart, showing us that love really knows no bounds. Although it wasn’t a funny verse, it certainly set the stage for future generations to get creative with their expressions of love and dreams.
2. What is a funny Valentine rhyme for kids?
Kids love funny rhymes that tickle their heart and funny bone! A classic Valentine rhyme for kids goes something along the lines of, “Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you!” You can easily adapt these verses beyond roses that are red and violets that’re blue, with silly lines to make them more personalized and playful. Of course, the key is to keep it innocent and sweet, capturing the sincere feelings and charm of childhood dreams. And don’t forget a big ‘thanks’ to the giggles and joy these little poems bring to the young (and young at heart) on Valentine’s Day.
3. What to say in a Valentine’s Day card that’s funny?
When scribbling a Valentine’s Day card that’s leaning towards the funny side, think about shared memories, inside jokes, or even playful teases that will make the recipient crack a smile. You might write something like, “You stole my heart, but I’ll let it slide… you make up for it by being an amazing guide through my wildest dreams.” It’s a fun and light-hearted way to say ‘thanks’ for being part of your life’s journey together while still letting them know they hold a special place in your heart.
Top tips for funny Valentine’s Day poems in cards
- For the perfect Valentine’s Day message, try to use a poem that’s unique and personal to the person you’re giving it to, or add their name into it – it’s more thoughtful and special that way. Do you love to garden together? Talk about how your love will ‘grow’. Telly addicts? Try a quote from their favourite show. Anything that shows how much you know about the person you’re sending it to, and with a tongue in cheek twist, will work well.
- You could always alter the poems slightly to include your own funny anecdotes or wording – something based off a private joke or memory will always go down a treat!
- Don’t be afraid to go for something all out silly – especially funny poems that rhyme!
- You can even make up your own cheeky poem, by using some of the ideas in the poems from our list.
- If your funny poem/card is for a child, add some cute drawings next to it too – hearts, teddy bears, flowers and other sweet doodles to make them smile.
- A card is the best place to write your poem, but if you can’t find a decent one in your local shop or supermarket, why not make your own homemade Valentine’s Day card for a truly thoughtful, unique touch?
- How about having your poem as part of a Valentine’s treasure hunt? Hide little love notes and riddles around the house, with a treat at the end for the receiver to find.
- If you want to give your loved one a little extra something alongside their poem, check out our other ideas for some of the most unique Valentine’s Day pressies, or give them some chocolate to go with it!
Are you celebrating Valentine’s Day this year? If so, how? Tell us over on our Coffeehouse forum below:
Take a look at : 36 of the best Valentine’s Day poems and quotes
Want to send a sexy, romantic (or just plain corny) Valentine’s Day message to your partner? We’ve rounded up some of the best Valentine’s Day quotes and poems for adults.
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Are you celebrating Valentine’s Day this year? If so, how? Tell us over on our Coffeehouse forum below:
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