How to Tell Someone You Love Them for the First Time (2024)

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Co-authored byConnell Barrettand Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: December 29, 2023References

Plan a special date.

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1. Share how you feel over dinner or during a romantic outing. Just pick a place where you have some privacy so the moment feels special. Plan a date that will make your partner feel comfortable and relaxed.^[1]

   • If your partner likes low-key activities, skip the five-course meal in favor of burgers and milkshakes. Alternatively, prepare a picnic and tell them how you feel while eating lunch at the park.

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Call or video chat if they live out of town.

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1. If you're separated by distance, you can still tell them how you feel. Text them asking if they would be available to talk on the phone. It's best to pick a time to talk so that your partner won't be busy when you call to share how you feel.

   • Text them something like, "I miss hearing your voice. Would you be free to talk on the phone this evening?"
   • Set up a video chat date, like eating dinner together in your respective homes. Then, say something like, "I'm so happy I get to see your face even if we can't be together right now. I love you."^[2]
   • You can also tell them how you feel over voicemail for a romantic (and unexpected) gesture.

   See Also

   How Soon Is *Too Soon* To Say 'I Love You'?Have You Fallen Victim To The “3-Month Dating Rule”?14 Telltale Signs He Wants You to Be His Girlfriend SoonJay Shetty ON 6 Red Flags To Avoid In Relationships | Blog | Jay Shetty

Write them a love letter.

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1. Make it romantic, personal, and unique to suit your partner. A love letter is a great opportunity to plan your words and tell your partner what you really love about them. Think of a few key specifics and then write them out.^[3]

   • Let's say your partner consistently calls you on their 15-minute break to say hi or always makes you laugh when you watch movies together. Those are the things to include in the letter.
   • Write something like, "I get so happy every time I hear your voice over the phone. I love you so much."

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Give them a gift with a handwritten note.

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1. This is a thoughtful way to tell your partner how you feel. Your gift doesn't even have to be expensive or grand. Get a hardcover copy of their favorite book and write an inscription inside that tells them how you feel. Buy a bouquet of flowers and attach a card that says "I love you." Tailor your gift to your partner's unique interests to make them feel especially cared for and loved.

   • If your partner lives out of town, surprise them with the gift and message in the mail.

Recite or read them a love poem.

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1. If you're not sure what to say, use the words of a poet. Try finding a short love poem or an excerpt that communicates how you feel. To find the perfect poem, look online or parse through some poetry books at your local bookstore or library. Then, read it aloud or recite it to your partner when the two of you are alone.

   • If your partner has a favorite poet, consider using a romantic poem they wrote to express your feelings.

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Make them a cute playlist of love songs.

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1. Music can convey how you feel in a way that words can't. Pick 10-15 romantic songs that express your love and add them to a playlist. You might try giving your mix a cute title, too, like "Love Songs for Jen" or "Music for My Love." Your partner will probably be super flattered to receive such a thoughtful collection of songs, and it'll show them just how much you adore them.

   • If you're having trouble picking love songs, add a few tracks that have sentimental value in your relationship. You might try a song that was playing on your first date or a track by your partner's all-time favorite artist.

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1. This is a creative and out-of-the-box way to convey your feelings. If you're celebrating a holiday together or spending time outside, get out a pack of sparklers and write your message in the air. It's a cinematic and memorable way to express your love, and your partner will probably adore you for it.

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1. This is an unexpected (and sexy) way to show how you feel. If your partner (or you) just got out of the shower, take advantage of the condensation on the bathroom mirror. Write out your message with your finger and get your partner's attention before it fades.

Say it spontaneously if the timing feels right.

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1. Wait until you're alone so the moment feels private and special. If you feel moved to confess your feelings in the moment and you've thought it through beforehand, go for it. Just make sure you're alone so the moment will feel special and there won't be any distractions.^[4]

   • Say something like, "I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I love you."

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Say it without expecting an answer.

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1. Don't say "I love you" just to hear your partner's response. Part of saying "I love you" is feeling vulnerable and expressing your feelings genuinely. If you tell them and they don't respond immediately by saying "I love you, too," that doesn't mean your relationship is doomed. Be patient and give them some time.^[5]

   • Different people go through relationships at different paces. It's possible they're just not ready yet.
   • Regardless of how they respond, remember that it's never a mistake to share that you care about someone.^[6]

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