Platonic Soulmates: What They Are & Signs You Have One (2024)

Co-authored byMoshe Ratson, MFT, PCCand Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: April 29, 2024Fact Checked

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   Platonic soulmates are people who share a deep, meaningful bond. It may feel as though your souls are “linked,” like you were meant to be in one another’s lives. The true definition of a platonic soulmate is someone with whom you have an intimate connection without romantic or sexual interest. In other words, your bond goes beyond good friends, but neither of you wants to be in a relationship.^[1]

   • Though many assume soulmates must be romantically linked, the actual definition is more general. Soulmates are simply people whose souls are profoundly connected.
   • Soulmates often feel like they know one another right away, possibly even from a past life.
   • For many people, finding a soulmate—platonic or otherwise—feels like finally finding a missing piece of their soul. They understand their soulmate completely, and their soulmate understands them in return.
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   Platonic soulmates are not potential romantic partners. You might ask: if platonic soulmates don’t have a romantic connection, is it possible to have a platonic soulmate you used to date or have a crush on? The simple answer is no. Platonic soulmates don’t actually want to be in a relationship; though attraction is possible, they won’t pursue each other romantically or sexually.^[2] Therefore, a platonic soulmate can’t be:

   • A crush
   • An ex
   • A rebound or a fling
   • Someone you’re dating
   • A long-term romantic partner
   • A friend with benefits
   • Someone you friend-zoned (or who friend-zoned you)

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   You felt a deep, instant connection to one another. When you met them, did it feel like you knew who they were right away? Like somewhere, deep down, you recognized them—even if you’d never met them before? Platonic soulmates are kindred spirits; your connection is often as intense as it is instantaneous. You’ll feel close to them because your souls are so similar!^[3]

   • Meeting a platonic soulmate may feel like fate is bringing you together; your platonic soulmate could show up just the moment you need them, or you might look back later and realize that it was the right time for you to meet.
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   You both have a lot in common. While you aren't mirror images of each other in terms of likes and dislikes, you both still share a lot of common ground. Maybe you had similar childhood experiences, or you both have a lot of the same hobbies and pastimes. Whatever the case, you both tune into the same wavelength when it comes to mutual interests and passions.

   • The same goes for dislikes—you both might find yourselves disliking the same things, too.
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   You “get” each other and have your own language. Communication among platonic soulmates feels super effortless and intuitive, as they often share an unspoken understanding that never fades. With a platonic soulmate, you’ll be able to finish each other’s sentences. You may have entire conversations based on inside jokes, quotes from TV and movies that you both enjoy, and even made-up words that only you two know.^[4]

   • You’ll also have a very similar sense of humor. Platonic soulmates often have a knack for making one another laugh because they find the same things funny and love exchanging all their best jokes.
   • When both of you are around others, they might ask you to translate whatever it is the two of you just said. Other people may not always get your inside jokes, but you will.
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   You know everything about one another. Platonic soulmates leave no stone unturned in their quest to get to know one another. If you have one, you’ll likely share everything—the most important moments and insignificant details of your lives. Do you have any secrets? Your platonic soulmate knows them. If someone asked them a personal question, you could probably answer it.^[5]

   • Giving them gifts is probably easy because you always know exactly what your platonic soulmate would want.
   • You’ll rarely run out of things to talk about because you always have something new to share with one another, even if it might seem weird or unimportant to other people.
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   You support each other no matter what. Platonic soulmates have a way of knowing what you need before you even have to ask for anything. They’ll support you when you’re feeling down, offer advice when you need help, give you space when you need to process, and make time for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry on.^[6]

   • Do you share all of your good and bad news? Are they the first person you tell when you get that amazing promotion and the first to wipe up your tears after a family crisis? That’s a platonic soulmate.
   • Your platonic soulmate will be your first (and loudest) cheerleader—and vice versa! You’re always there to encourage one another, and you never get competitive.
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   You can instantly empathize with their emotions. When they’re upset, you get upset on their behalf. When they’re jumping for joy, you’re right there with them. You can tell what they’re feeling just from the look on their face and empathize with their feelings effortlessly. In short, you’ll be completely in tune with one another and share a deep emotional connection.^[7]

   • For some people, talking about their deepest and darkest emotions is quite the challenge. However, emotional conversations between you and your platonic soulmate might not be so difficult.
   • Because you can empathize with one another and set one another at ease, emotional conversations likely happen naturally.
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   You trust their loyalty unconditionally. A platonic soulmate is always someone you’d trust to have your back no matter what. If you have one, there’s likely no doubt in your mind that you’d be willing to tell them anything or trust them with any responsibility. You may also feel comfortable confiding in them because they’re one of the few people you know will never let you down.^[8]

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   You help each other to become better people. Platonic soulmates are still two different people who can likely teach each other a lot! Your platonic soulmate is someone who will encourage you to become the best version of yourself over time. Do you feel like you’ve learned important life lessons from one another? Like there’s still more to discover together? That’s a surefire sign you have a platonic soulmate.^[9]

   • A platonic soulmate may be able to help you see issues from a new perspective or suggest solutions you wouldn’t have thought of by yourself. When you’re conflicted, they’re always prepared to offer advice.
   • You’re there to help your platonic soulmate grow too! Do you give them as much advice as they give you? If so, that’s another sign of your deep connection.
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   You feel comfortable being yourself because they won't judge you. Everybody has flaws, but a platonic soulmate will accept you, flaws and all, without judgment or criticism. When you have a platonic soulmate, your true self will come out around them easily and naturally. They’ll never make you feel like you need to change who you are, and you’ll be able to share even the most difficult parts of your life with them.^[10]

   • For example, reliving past mistakes is never easy, but a platonic soulmate won’t judge you for them. Instead, they’ll listen compassionately and help you come to terms with what happened.
   • Platonic soulmates feel connected because they’re so similar deep down—which is why platonic soulmates accept one another exactly as they are!
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    You’re close to them regardless of time and distance apart. Sometimes, life can interfere with relationships; you might move away from one another or get busy and be unable to hang out for a while. Regardless of what happens, however, you and your platonic soulmate will likely be able to pick up where you left off as though nothing has changed. Reconnecting will feel easy and totally natural!^[11]

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    You enjoy yourself with them no matter what you’re doing. Even long silences will feel natural and comfortable! There’s no pressure to fill the silence with words or do anything specific with a platonic soulmate; you’ll just be happy in one another’s presence. No matter what you end up doing—whether you chat, sit in silence, or hit the town together—it'll feel fun.^[12]

    • Some casual friendships need constant activities and outings to thrive because when you aren’t doing anything, you might get bored or find that you don’t have much in common.
    • Platonic soulmates don’t work like that. You’ll rarely feel bored or disconnected from them; being around them usually feels like a breath of fresh air!
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    You can hang out together in total silence. Maybe you're just vibing together in the living room or sitting in the car together on the way to the store—no matter the place, you're both perfectly comfortable enjoying the silence together. Neither of you feels the need to make small talk or stretch out a conversation for fear of falling into an awkward silence.

    • At the end of the day, "awkward silences" don't really exist in a platonic soulmate relationship—you're both totally comfortable with each other, regardless of what you are (or aren't) talking about.
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    Some people ask why you aren’t dating. If you have a platonic soulmate, it’ll really seem like you two are made for one another. And you are! It simply may not be the same sort of bond that most people are used to. People may assume that you should be romantically involved because you get along so well, but the truth is, you just aren’t interested in one another that way.

    • You might get a lot of questions from family or other friends, like, “Why don’t you start dating? You have so much in common,” or “What’s up with you two? It really seems like you’d make a good match.”
    • Consider your reaction when somebody asks you that. Do you immediately say “no” and firmly shut down the idea because you genuinely don’t like it? If so, you may have a platonic soulmate.

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1. It’s very possible that you’ll have a platonic soulmate in life. Platonic soulmates are more common than you think. Like you probably have casual and good friends, platonic soulmates are simply the best and most important friends in your life. You might even have several over the course of your life—possibly at the same time.^[13]

   • You might meet a platonic soulmate at any time in your life. One platonic soulmate might be your kindergarten best friend, and another might be someone you meet in your 60s.
   • Platonic and romantic soulmates aren’t mutually exclusive. You can have both, and platonic soulmates can be just as important as romantic ones!
   • Like friends, some platonic soulmates will come and go, while others are lifelong connections.

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