Last updated: 04/27/15
If you can be inspirational and hilarious at the same time, you’re really on to something.
Some people call these “de-motivational quotes”. Well, to me they are still pretty dang motivating.
This is a curated sub-category. Check out our full collection of inspirational quotes.
Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is! Jeffrey Gitomer
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.Thomas Eddison
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin
You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.Jack London
If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.Donald Trump
Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.Kyle Chandler
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.Albert Einstein
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.A.A. Milne
A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.Unknown
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.Will Rogers
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.Mark Twain
Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.Bill Copeland
Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. Ellen Degeneres
Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.Tom Lehrer
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.Isaac Asimov
Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.Truman Capote
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.Zig Ziglar
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.Dalai Lama
When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’Sydney Harris
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.Lily Tomlin
Well-behaved women seldom make history.Laurel Thatcher Ulrich,
If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.Marie Osmond
There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.Roger Staubach
Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.Unknown
I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored. Louis C.K.
Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can. Danny Kaye
If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big. Tom Hirshfield
There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson
If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your sh*t, then you deserve it. Frank Zappa
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If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. Unknown
I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.Voltaire
I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.Benjamin Franklin
Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there. Josh Billings
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite
Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.Unknown
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.Charles Schulz
Edison failed 10, 000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.Napoleon Hill
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive it isn’t. Richard Bach
I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess. Cassandra Duffy
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Robert Frost
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. Dave Barry
Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost. Martina Navratilova
If you fall, I’ll always be there. The Floor
Focus, focus, focus! What am I, a telescope?! Naruto Uzumaki
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright
